Abstract
Purpose. The purpose of this study was to learn from gay men in leadership roles the degrees to which they experienced the paradoxes of trust and identity when coming out to members of a group they led. If the paradoxes of trust and identity were experienced, the study explored the degree to which the leaders experienced paradoxical paralysis and the strategies they used to move beyond the limitations of the paradoxes and successfully navigate the coming-out process. Methodology. This was a qualitative study that utilized a phenomenological research design. A web-based platform was used to conduct virtual focus groups to gather data. Inductive coding was used to analyze the data. The population sample consisted of gay men who had 3 or more years of educational leadership experience and had come out in a public manner. Findings. Participants in the focus groups reported experiencing the paradox of trust. Also, participants reported experiencing at least one side of the paradox of identity. This means they reported that their identity influenced the group's identity, or the group's identity influenced their identity. The data showed that approximately half of the participants experienced paradoxical paralysis, while the other half reported they did not. Those who experienced paralysis reported disclosing their sexual identities to religious members, their students, and parents of their students as factors that caused a sense of stuckness. Five strategies used to break paralysis were unearthed as recurring themes. Conclusions. Coming out is a complex phenomenon and a hospitable context for experiencing paradoxes. The findings somewhat contradicted some aspects of the literature. The paradoxes of trust and identity were experienced, multiple participants experienced paradoxical paralysis, and some were able to move beyond the limitations of paralysis with specific strategies. Recommendations. Replicate this study using other members of the GLBT community. Replicate this study and test for the newly postulated paradox theories. Compare the experiences of participants in this study and the experiences of other GLBT community members. Replicate this study to learn how other paradoxes of group life might manifest in the coming-out process based on the work of Smith and Berg (1987).